Frisson

Reassessment

I’ve come back to Tumblr. Glad to know you’re all still here, that the space is still welcoming. I missed you guys.

2011 was chaotic. January 2012 was hell.

I can’t tell you most of it, much as I’d like to, as cathartic as it would be to scream my confusion into the blogosphere. Isn’t that what this space is for - community, sharing, personal narrative, and seeking out that magical “you are not alone” moment when someone reads your words?

It’s precisely because I am not alone that I must remain silent.

Telling you my story is my choice. Telling you someone else’s story is a distasteful and unfair violation of privacy. And therein lies the line that all writers bump up against day after day, measuring the potential costs of tapping into someone else’s delicate veins.

So, suffice to say that everything in my life has turned upside down.

Let’s say life is one of these (as seen in Laura)…

Dana Andrews’s Hands via HiLobrow.com

In September of last year, the gods above took hold of my little game and shook it hard, unseating all my wee steel balls to roll around, banging against each other and everything else. Then, just when I dared to think things might have settled down, the same gods seized January 2012 as a perfect opportunity to  seal all of the holes closed, so that my beads are now left without any hope of finding their proper places again.

In the game of trinket baseball, my players can never again go home.

I have tried, I continue to try, to be bitter, to be angry, to rage at the universe for kicking me out of my comfortable complacency. But…

Confession: even as it was happening, I knew that it was for the best. I have been immensely, unspeakably sad. I look down the road ahead and know that the immediate future brings only more tears, more sorrow, more loss. But at the end, at the turn of the road that is just so tantalizingly around the corner… I know it’s for the best.

And now this is the part where I offer you the tried and true clichéd observation: I am both terrified and exhilarated. And it’s true.

Meantime…

My father died on January 6, 2012.

Dad’s knowledge of Napoleonic History was so vast he could tell you Robespierre’s dog’s name (Bruant).

Much of January’s weirdness was set in motion by my father’s death. But some lovely things did happen: my mother and I discovered just how close we really are, and my mother and Tao found a lovely relationship that will sustain them both for many years to come. Silver linings.

I haven’t yet had a chance to decide what my father’s passing means to me, so I won’t attempt to offer some sort of eulogy. I will say that he lived a rich, full life, that he died in the manner he’d hoped to at age 81, and that the outpouring of sorrow and affection from so many people is a true tribute to the man he was.

Bye, Dad. I hope you’ve found a quiet, well-stocked place to read with big squashy chairs, a fire, and good company.

image via gaelart.blogspot.com

Peace.

 cross-posted at njaron.com

Geek Mom Cooking: Grilled Veggies and Chicken Burgers

I hate cooking. Everything I make takes 30 minutes and involves about 4 ingredients… except for this particular dinner.  This one’s still pretty simple but takes forever because we ‘grill’ with our indispensable George Foreman Grill. Seriously, if you only ever buy one seemingly nonsensical item, let it be this grill.  Worth every penny.

This recipe is my own invention, but that isn’t saying much - tossing veggies in oil and grilling them is not Master Chef territory.  But it’s one of the few meals I make that gets devoured, praised, moaned over, and begged for - which I suppose classifies it as a family favourite, so enjoy!

Grilled Veggies
grain-free (wheat-free), gluten-free, dairy-free, nightshade-free option, carb-free, low in sodium, fat & cholesterol
makes 4 large servings or 6 small

Makin’s:

2 large  or 3 small zucchini, skin-on, washed and sliced in rounds
1 package or 2 cups of your favourite small tomatoes,* washed
2 large or 3 small onions, red or cooking onions will do, peeled & chopped into large chunks
2 sweet peppers, red, yellow or orange, washed & chopped into large chunks
1-2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
Mrs Dash Garlic & Herb blend to taste (at least 1 tbsp)
hamburger or other buns or rolls*

Fixin’s:

Place all ingredient in large bowl and toss, as with a salad.  If you are not concerned about calories, fat, cholesterol, etc, be liberal with the oil - in fact, here’s a handy rationale: there’s no sodium in this recipe, and it’s all veggies, so you’re so super-health-conscious that a little extra oil won’t kill you. You’re welcome.

Heat grill, using the bowl-plate option on the bottom if you’re using the GF Grill. If you’re grilling some other way, do your thing, dude, and let me know how it goes.

Grill veggies in batches.  Make sure there are several tomatoes in each batch. The tomatoes leak juice into the pan and it creates a really nice sauce.  Also make sure the zucchini is lying flat so that it absorbs said sauce and grills nicely.

Grill each batch for about five minutes, and then continue cooking until the veggies are done the way you like them.  If you keep cooking after they’re softened, remember to: (a) turn the zucchini so it grills on both sides and (b) break open any tomatoes that are stubbornly refusing to share their juices.

Place each successive batch in a container with a lid, and set aside until burgers are done. Or, do like I do: yell “veggies are done” and then get out of the way.

Serve warm.  I’ve tried them cold, and they’re not bad, but not great.

*Variations:

• Nightshade sensitivities: omit tomatoes and peppers and add other high-water veggies such as garlic, mushrooms (portobello are best), etc.
• Mix it up: if you can handle nightshades, consider adding eggplant, also cut in rounds, or chinese eggplant
• Dairy: consider tossing the final product with some Parmesan or other flavourful cheese.
• Mix it up some more: try other Mrs Dash blends or any spice blend you enjoy.  If you’d like to make your own, I recommend chopped garlic, with some basil, oregano and thyme so that the entire dish tastes like it came out of your back yard.
• Toss with rice or lentils for a really nice lunch - if you do this, let the dish warm to room temp before you eat, it’s greasy cold.

Chicken Burgers
gluten-free, wheat-free option, dairy-free, nightshade free, sodium-free, low in fat & cholesterol & carbs
makes 6-8 burgers

Prepare while your veggies are grilling.  I like to take the meat out when I begin so that it’s room temp by the time I have to stick my hands into the stuff.  If you mix it a little early, the meat has time to marinate in the seasonings.

Makin’s:

2 standard packages of ground chicken - 2 x 1lb or 500mg package
6 tbsp breadcrumbs - best: Shasha spelt breadcrumbs (gluten- and wheat-free)
1 tbsp Mrs Dash Southwest Chipotle blend or to taste
1 tbsp chili powder or to taste
1 tsp oregano
chopped green onion or any other onion (red is nice and sweet) to taste - usually about 1/2 cup

Fixin’s:

Before you begin, have a large plate ready: place a sheet of waxed paper on top, and have another sheet ready to put on top of your first batch of burgers.  Remember to alwayshandle chicken properly and clean up immediately afterwards.

If you are using a GF Grill, when the veggies are done, remove and set aside the bowl-plate and add the bottom grilling plate.  Allow the machine to re-heat.  Meanwhile…

Place all ingredients in a large bowl. Using your hands if you can stand it, or two plastic mixing spoons if you can’t, mix everything together thoroughly.

Divide meat and shape into patties.  If you’re being conscientious about healthy portions, make 8 patties.  If you like them bigger, make 6 large patties.

Grill in your GF Grill for 10 minutes - or if you’re barbecuing, do your thing, my friend. Drop me a note about your experience.

Place finished burgers on buns, if using, and serve immediately.  NOTE: these keep really well in the fridge for up to 3 days, and make excellent lunches.

Variations:

• Low-carb - use thin buns, e.g PC Thins.
• Gluten-free: omit buns, or use a gluten-free option.  Stick to spelt breadcrumbs.
• Mix it up: try different herb blends.  Add green pepper to your burgers.  Add a hot sauce (but not too much).  Try adding a little salsa, but remember to add additional breadcrumbs to absorb the moisture (this will also add nightshades).

A Note about Teflon:

Back in the day, when Teflon took off as a favourite cooking fad, there was an inevitable backlash about its effects, called Polymer Fume Fever. Various reports have come and gone about the safety of Teflon, but I vividly remember reading, back when I was pregnant, that heating Teflon causes it to emit fumes.

The advice was to avoid while pregnant, don’t use near your baby, and otherwise just make sure that you’re cooking area is well-ventilated.

I can’t find anything about it now that doesn’t seem like hysterical inter-webby conspiracy stuff or else way too academic for me to bother reading, so here’s my advice (and remember, I’m a library worker with an English degree who likes SF, that’s it in terms of credentials)…

When I open the GF Grill after heating it up, I can see a little puff of smoke.  So now I always have a fan on and the kitchen window is open.  There you go.

cross-posted at njaron.com

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